1. My idea of kinkiness: reading a piece of Harry Potter fan fiction about Harry and Hermione doing it for the first time, and imagining it being read aloud by Nigella Lawson.

2. I’m in my mid 40s and lost my virginity in my mid 20s.

3. The ‘Beautiful Agony’ website is the most arousing thing I’ve seen in years. (And that’s where I found this site.)

4. Once, when my wife and I came home from a formal dinner, we made love while I kept my tux on, and she was naked – except for her pearl necklace.

5. The hardest erection I ever had was while watching hardcore porn on video in my 20s. (I’d seen it before, but this was the first time I’d had the chance to see it alone.) It hurt for two days afterward.

6. My wife has a bisexual-leaning-to-lesbian friend I sometimes have fantasies about.

7. I also sometimes think about the girls I knew and fancied (but never got to touch) at university.

8. I have been out with three Swedish girls and can’t understand where the ‘Swedes are sexually free and easy’ stereotype came from.

9. One afternoon my (then) fiancee and I had my parents over for lunch. Afterwards we watched out the front window till we were sure they were gone, then whipped our clothes off and made love.

10. The first girl I ever got semi-naked with (we didn’t go all the way) was a workmate. The breakup was brutal. I can understand why she wanted to break up – we didn’t do much together other than make out. A couple of years ago I saw her working in a shop - I recognised her instantly. I went in and bought something. I think she recognised me, but said nothing. I hurriedly got out.

11. When making love, my wife and I usually end in the ‘doggy’ position, which she finds the most arousing. I also like her on top, but it makes me come too quickly – it’s just too much.

12. I love cunnilingus – my wife said I was the first ever to make her come hands-free.

13. Pregnancy is a turn-on.

14. I’ve tried prostate massage a couple of times – but I need to shower thoroughly first, if you know what I mean.

15. Until I started getting regular sex I used to masturbate with my penis between two pillows – they’d represent the upper and lower halves of a woman’s body, and my penis would fit in the overlap between them.

16. I have many female friends, more than male – in my single days I often found myself being secretly in love with them while they cried on my shoulder about their boyfriends. Only many years later did it occur to me that I should have stopped the hopeless love fantasies and instead cried on THEIR shoulder about my lack of action – they might have introduced me to one of their girlfriends, or at least given me some tips on what I was doing wrong (or not doing at all). Not that it mattered in the long run – I ended up meeting my future wife through a male friend.

17. I wish we could massage each other the way we used to – oil each other up totally, then finish by making love. Now we have a child who might walk in at any moment, which makes it hard to be relaxed or spontaneous.

18. The first movie with nudity I ever saw was David Hamilton’s ‘Bilitis’ when I was 16. I didn’t shave for a couple of days to make myself look older (it was restricted to 18 and over).

19. The first girl I had sex with, I was more interested in the sex than in her. She, on the other hand, was in love with me. I kept it going for the sex. I’m not proud of it.

20. My wife and I have had sex on a beach.

21. I find women from South Asia (i.e. the Indian sub-continent) very sexy.

22. I discovered masturbation when I was 10.

23. When I was at school I used to resent the fact that my sister is a lot younger than me – she has lots of girlfriends. ‘If only she was older’, I’d complain to myself, ‘I could get to know them.’ But by the time they were old enough, I’d left home. (I went to an all-boys school, and she went to an all-girls school.) But one afternoon, when she would have been about 16, I went to her school to pick her up (I forget why – the family must have been going out somewhere). As I walked with her to the car, all these other 16-year-old girls were turning around and looking at me, with a ‘Helloooo...’ look on their faces. Well, I was young and thin then.

24. The first time I had sex, I was nervous and she wasn’t very wet. I ‘wilted’ several times trying to enter her. She reached for the tube of skin moisturiser in her bedside cabinet. She rubbed some on, and I was in. It only lasted about 90 seconds.

25. My wife doesn’t know I’m doing this.