Friday, November 5, 2010

1. I'm a 26-year-old bio female in a relationship with a bi-ish man.

2. Before I met him I described myself as sorta bi, or simply declined to advertise. Now I know my orientation can best be described as submissive. I like to be fucked. The shape of the person doing the fucking is less important than their qualities as a human being.

3. I like loud, aggressive sex. Biting, hair-pulling, being tossed around like a doll, being told what to do.

4. I really like getting tied up and blindfolded.

5. Last summer, when I still thought of myself as a switch, I considered dating a bi man who was a sub. When he told me that, it was a huge turnoff and I crossed him off my list. Some time after my partner and I got together, he told me he's fucked other men. This is a huge turn-on. The difference? Boyfriend is dominant. Dominance (without arrogance) turns me on in a big way.

6. I've dabbled in consensual nonmonogamy but wouldn't do it again.

7. That being said, if this relationship turns out to be very long term, I wouldn't really mind occasional group play, as long as my partner and I always did it together and always went home alone at the end of the night.

8. The risk of unprotected penetrative sex really turns me on, but it's incredibly important to me that all actual penetrative sex involve condoms, at least until we're fluid-bonded and I'm using hormonal birth control.

9. I've messed around with women before and enjoyed it, but I've never been interested in one romantically and I don't expect that to change.

10. I'll probably never come out to my family as bi/queer/whatever. I'm not afraid of how they'll react. But I don't expect I'll ever have a relationship that isn't straight-appearing, and they don't need to know what I do behind closed doors.

11. Dirty text messages, emails, IMs, etc, don't interest me.

12. Until very recently I didn't much like dirty talk either.

13. I volunteer at a trans health organization and wish to make a career in same. I am utterly fascinated by the trans community and the process of transitioning. On top of that, the most physically beautiful people I've ever seen in my life are trans, and who wouldn't want to see astonishing beauty every day at work?

14. When I was 7 or 8 I played games with a female friend that I now realize involved sexual acts. We never got caught and I'm not ashamed.

15. I've been with my current partner for most of this year, and I feel firmly committed to him, at least for the foreseeable future. But something in me can't stop scoping out every attractive person in my preferred age bracket everywhere I go, and being slightly disappointed when I realize they're in a relationship or not of an orientation that works with mine.

16. I met someone online a few months before I met my partner. I was on the verge of going to meet him in person (he lives a couple hours away) when my partner and I got together. Online friend knows I'm in this relationship but continues to flirt with me from time to time. I let him, because I like the attention, and because I like telling my partner when I get hit on. It makes me feel wanted on both sides.

17. I'm rather overweight and was never attracted to skinny people until I met my last partner. He was rail-thin and dead sexy. But because of that relationship I have a hard time looking at skinny boys without feeling slightly repulsed.

18. I don't need my partners to be fastidious about hygiene, but I really can't stand BO, dirty hair, or gross toenails. If you can shower daily, wash your hair at least every couple of days, and keep your nails short, we'll be fine. I don't feel like this is too much to ask, but I have been teased and even mocked about it before.

19. I like being taken care of, to a certain extent. When I'm having a rough day, I like it when my partner offers to take care of dinner for us, or offers to help me with a chore. I don't like being treated dismissively. This is an aspect of our relationship we need to work on a little more - he sometimes thinks I'm too needy, and I sometimes think he's too much of a jerk.

20. The fact that my partner gets along well with my family and friends, and I with his, is really important to me. I don't like being that couple that ignores loved ones just because we've coupled up.

21. We don't always have frequent sex but almost every time we do, it's mind-blowingly good. Sometimes I wouldn't mind trading quality for quantity, though.

22. I can only climax once, tops, per sexual encounter. Sometimes I don't climax at all. Sometimes I don't even try, because trying to orgasm just gets in the way of the fun. Those are the best encounters, for me.

23. I like it when we mess around a little in the morning before work, just enough for us to get hot and bothered but not enough for either of us to finish. Then I think about it for the rest of the day and fantasize at bedtime. It's like a day-long sex act.

24. I very rarely think of my partner while masturbating. This has been true my whole life. Masturbating for me is a way to explore deep fantasies that my partners usually aren't even privy to.

25. My sister lives nearby and owns some very isolated land. One of my biggest fantasies is to have sex on her front lawn (while she's out of town). Partially it's because I have always wanted to have sex outside, and partially it's because of how transgressive it is to have sex on someone else's property (family no less!). My partner and I almost managed it, once, but he hurt his back shortly before and couldn't come over.