Monday, May 9, 2011

1) I am a 20 year old 'woman' with serious thoughts about experimenting more with my gender.

2) That said, I'm terrified about my parents finding out that the 'little girl' they raised is becoming more and more comfortable with being called a boy.

3) But honestly, I don't think I'd ever want to transition. I enjoy being a 'girl' as much as I enjoy being a 'boy.'

4) The first time I ever felt truly at ease with my sexuality was last year when myself and my girlfriend made out on the couch of my friend's apartment.

5) I've had one 'actual' sexual partner. And he essentially put me off all normative sex for the remainder of my life.

6) I self-identify as 'queer,' 'cause in all honesty, I am odd for who I like and what I like.

7) I love blood, gore, amputation/amputees, androgyny, heavy BDSM, multiples (orgies, threesomes, etc) and toys in my porn.

8) I'm also starting to grow more and more fond of fluffier porn. Lots of hugs and kisses, but no actual sex.

9) I am currently dating a closet case.

10) I'm also terrified of outing her to her family, even if I get the suspicion that her Mum knows.

11) I cross dress. A lot.

12) The first time it crossed my mind that I might actually be a lesbian was playing truth or dare at age 12-ish.

13) I have participated in an all-female threesome before... with one of the women identifying as straight.

14) It was awkward, odd, and the first time I ever had an orgasm.

15) In an almost contradictory sense, I enjoy male/male slash and a bit of het. But you can't get me anywhere near mass-market and/or fanfiction female/female stuff. It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

16) I have only ever had one person go down on me before.

17) And I wish that it had happened sooner, because gorram did it feel wonderful.

18) I like giving oral. There's something wonderfully close about the act.

19) The people I date have to 'smell' right. Don't know why, but the scent of second hand smoke, dog, and something uniquely them, is the world's greatest combo.

20) I wish that there wasn't all these evil little labels which we have to use, 'cause it makes life awkward when you have to explain what you mean when you state that you are a 'vaguely genderqueer queer with a preference for women.'

21) I have never had another person help me indulge in one of my biggest kinks.

22) That said, I've often cut before masturbating, because of the high it lends to the act.

23) I'm of two minds about my kinks and sexuality. Most of the time I feel fine about it and it's perfectly okay... but on rare days, I wonder how the hell I could have fucked up so severely that I'm turned on by getting hurt and watching others get hurt.

24) I think I'm a switch, but I really don't know.

25) I haven't had sex in a while, and I'm not really certain I miss it.