Sunday, June 12, 2011

1. I'm an early-twenties male who identifies as pansexual. I tend to be attracted to women more than men, but more than 95% of my crushes have been after getting to know the person as friends first.

2. I have more pornography saved on my computer than I like to think about, all of it categorized by type, but there's an OCD part of me that wants it categorized perfectly.

3. Despite this, I hardly ever watch any of it. When I'm needing something to visualize, I prefer to find stories online and picture it in my mind than actually watch it 90% of the time.

4. I sometimes write erotic stories, though I have to be in a particular mood and it all ends up as the same category. I don't know if there's something about the mood I have to be in to write, or if it's just easier, but even though I have plenty of interests only a very select few end up written or typed.

5. People seem to assume I have much more experience than I do, especially when I was at university. I've never corrected anyone I wasn't dating about this. I had a total of two partners during university – one was very long distance with no physical contact, one was during a summer break between academic years.

6. I've helped someone go from fairly innocent to confident dominant. Even though it was something she'd been looking for but not really known about, I'm still proud of "corrupting" her, and also that I helped her get some more satisfaction.

7. My BDSM mindset is mostly linked to the gender of my partner – if it's a M/F relationship, I'm 70-30 dom-sub. If it's M/M, it's much more submissive than dominant.

8. Even now, I'm still not sure if I ever really knew the first person I slept with – I knew what she told me about her, but things I found out later mean I'm not sure of anything about her. Thinking back, this is probably about the time I stopped developing crushes on people I didn't know and needed to get to know them first.

9. Despite identifying as pansexual, I've never had a relationship with another man. The closest I've been to one in real life was kissing a friend after a few drinks, and online was cybersex. Most of my friends have been straight, not interested or unavailable by the time I've gotten to know them well enough to develop those feelings for them (see 8).

10. Every partner I've been with who I've given oral sex to has complimented me on my technique and said I'm good, but I find it difficult to believe and always feel like there's something else I could do. This is related to:

11. I'm a perfectionist. Normally, I wouldn't relate that to my sexuality, but I always feel like I can do more, or learn something new and please my partner more than I am.

12. I've never said no to a date. I'd like to say that's because I'm so interesting and it's a great way to meet people, but it would be a lie. When I've been asked, I've always happened to be single and interested.

13. My favorite position to cuddle in is lying on my back, arm around my partner with them cuddling into into my chest.

14. I faked orgasms sometimes with my first girlfriend sometimes – she believed it.

15. I've had a no-strings-attached, friends with benefits relationship, but we both felt there was a danger of too much attachment before ending it.

16. I've never had a threesome, but I want to try it. Either MMF or MFF, but if it was MFF I'd want both girls to be bi, or I wonder if I'd be able to satisfy both at once.

17. My first sexual contact was with my best friend growing up, but often I forget about it because it wasn't anything meaningful; it was more comparing sizes than anything else with some touching. I still remember being really surprised at the difference in size between us.

18. I've both given and received anal sex. I can see why people like giving anal, but it's not my favorite sex act. Of the two, I prefer receiving.

19. My favorite thing is to give oral sex. It's possibly part of my submissive side, but I love to please my partner even if it's as a reward when I'm being dominant.

20. I've never had a one night stand.

21. I lost my virginity differently from everyone I've spoken to about it – giving anal sex to my (at the time) girlfriend. I'd not had any relationships beforehand, and being in one was something of a surprise to me, so we didn't have any protection, and she suggested it.

22. My girlfriend and I did everything but have sex on the floor of a friend's living room where we were staying one night. It was amazing, and even remained a secret from everyone who lived there for half a year, until one of them found out in a very drunken game of truth or dare.

23. My first piercings, post-puberty, were my nipples, partly as I wanted something that would be hidden from my family and because it always felt good to play with them and wondered how that would change it. Other than the time I got them stretched, they feel less sensitive and not as much fun to play with. It's quite disappointing.

24. I don't think there's much I'd refuse to try if a partner asked, even if that means me slowly pushing what I'd have considered a strong boundary (like breath play--the risk of doing it wrong and hurting the person I was with scared me. Especially as I'd been on the receiving side of that with a previous partner and found it more scary than fun).

25. After one relationship where I had problems lasting long enough for it to be really fun, I started learning about and doing Kegel exercises so I could last longer. Despite this, and continuing to do them, I never remember to try them during sex.