Monday, December 5, 2011

1. I am a 21-year-old, mostly straight female.

2. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 in a threesome with my best friend and her boyfriend.

3. I was raped almost daily for six years from the age of 5 to 11.

4. I started masturbating to pornography multiple times a day when I was 10 years old. This is still the case.

5. When I say mostly straight, I mean that I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with another woman, but I love having sex with women, and I appreciate how sexy and beautiful we are.

6. Since I lost my virginity at the age of 15, I have had upwards of 17 sexual partners, both male and female.

7. Rough, wild, passionate, take-me-now kind of sex is to die for. I've never been a fan of slow and sensual lovemaking. I don't know why this is. The mere idea of it is a turn-off.

8. Every person I see on the street or in passing, I imagine having sex. Not necessarily with me, but with their faceless (to me) lover. It helps me see everyone has a vulnerable, raw, and needy human being.

9. Out of all of my many sexual partners, I have only had sex with two of them more than once.

10. I think about sex all the time. All day. Every day. If everyone else wanted to, I would want to talk about nothing else. I love to learn about other people and what they like, what they want, how often. Knowing that everyone's sexuality is so varied is so intriguing to me.

11. I like to be sexually submissive. But if the person I'm having sex with isn't dominant enough, I will take over. I like to be thrown around, have my hair pulled, and my neck grabbed with reckless abandon.

12. I'm not affectionate at all. In contrast with my constant need for sex, some find this off-putting. I want to hit it and quit it, I don't want romance, I don't want snuggling. If it is not in a sexual context, I don't like to be touched. If my partner comes up to me while I'm doing dishes, for example, and touches my back, I will literally cringe and move away from them.

13. Public sex is one of my biggest turn-ons, but it scares me half to death.

14. Sometimes, after intercourse, I feel anger towards my sexual partner. I always suppress these feelings.

15. I suffer from what I affectionately refer to as "penis nightmares." Dreams in which I am having sex with someone (usually someone I'm very attracted to in my life) when their penis turns into something scary and more often than not ends up killing me. As an example, having sex with an attractive friend when his penis turns into a giant python that penetrates me and kills me. I feel like these should impact my sex life, but they don't.

16. During my teen years I had a hard time saying no, so I often ended up having one night stands that I wasn't necessarily into having. Now, however, I'm glad that I went through this period. I believe that it helped me take control of who I am sexually. I also appreciate the experience.

17. I've never owned a vibrator. I want one. But I feel like I can do the job just as well or better.

18. I absolutely love my body. I feel like the sexiest little thing on earth and I would rather be naked than clothed any time of day.

19. I crave sexual attention, which causes problems when I'm in relationships. I love locking eyes with a sexy stranger and feeling that mutual understanding that we would fuck like wild animals were we not surrounded by all these people on the bus, for example.

20. I love anal sex, but the ONLY thing I will put up my ass is a penis. This includes no fingers or tongues. I would not be able to look someone in the eye if I had let me lick my ass.

21. I fantasize about being double penetrated all the time, but am scared to try it. I feel like I couldn't handle it.

22. I can have a (minor) orgasm by merely thinking about being eaten out. I do this in my university classes every single day.

23. I believe that penises are gorgeous.

24. I have a rape fantasy that I am ashamed of because of my past. I will never act on it, or tell anyone about it.

25. Life is short and silly, and if it isn't full of orgasms, it isn't worth it.